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Bumbling Blowhard

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  • Bumbling Blowhard

    I guess now that Ozy has assumed the status of "retired"—which means he's already taken your money and run—somebody decided to "retire" the Ed is Ozymandias thread as well. The more I think about it, it's a good thing. You see, even though Ozymandias is an apt characterization of the insignificant little braggart from Mentor-on-the-Lake OH, it's really inappropriate to represent such base creatures by using classical poetry. It's sort of like casting pearls before Pam. Money-grubbing liars like Buddy rate something more akin to urban graffiti—coarse, vulgar descriptors, similar to much of what's found in the transcripts of Illinois vs. Lloyd R. Davis. Nothing classical or poetic there, just the truth. Of course, there's nothing classical or dignified about cowardly creatures like Buddy Jr.

    Regular readers here know that Buddy is a buffoon, a simpleton, a sick cartoonish-like character. The truly amazing thing is that this freak convinced so many dupes over the years that he is a "man of God," when in reality he is nothing more than a whimpering dumbass—the fraud bellowing to others to ignore the doofus behind the curtain and to just focus on the false image. For those that are still unconvinced, John's most recent post provides yet more evidence that Buddy is a crude narcissist. Not to mention an blithering idiot.

    Here's a few cuts with some comments thrown in for chits and giggles:

    Originally posted by John Cady View Post
    When Ed told Jon he wasn't being hired full-time staff and instead hired his own daughter Christine, Jon saw through the BS and said he had enough.
    Let's see here...Buddy hires his own unqualified daughter over a qualified person who was not a member of his family......Bwaa ha ha ha ha ha ha! I guess those who still gather to sit on folding chairs in the ghetto gymnasium haven't had enough of the BS yet. Talk about a high tolerance for pain and abuse!

    Originally posted by John Cady View Post
    Ed announced he was talking to Pete about closing down Norfolk. He was tired of all the complaints and comments about his behavior and his family, and CFCMI Norfolk would be history - so we thought.
    Buddy once announced that he believed the allegations against his father-in-law were true. So we thought.

    Originally posted by John Cady View Post
    On the 19th, all the men were to remain in the fellowship hall until Ed said we could go in; we were ordered not to tell any of the married men or families the news.
    Why was Buddy—leader of a ChErcH of "no-love-involved" homosexual "eunuchs"—stupid enough to allow married couples in the first place? I differ with John on one point: Buddy never did anything "carefully and precisely." It's something he's not capable of.

    Originally posted by John Cady View Post
    Not one married man entered the fellowship hall until after the meeting was over. However, I broke ranks and entered the sanctuary on my own volition to pray - a normal occurrence in a healthy church - only to be summoned by Paul Rudolph to leave and return to the fellowship hall like Ed told us. As I observed the activity, I asked Larry Glander if he sensed anything wrong; he told me to relax and no one else is making a big deal of this, so why am I?
    Gullible sheep don't make a big deal about anything. They just go "Baaaaa" and do what "Ed told us."

    Originally posted by John Cady View Post
    7:30 rolled around, and we all followed Ed into the sanctuary and took our seats among the empty pews. Ed opened by reading from Acts 15 about Paul and Barnabas, who parted company after a dispute over what to do with Mark. I sat behind Duane Robinson and his family. Ed then proceeded to blast Duane about having an Absalom spirit because Duane refused to cower to Ed when confronted about a private conversation a member had with Duane. Duane, who normally is a very calm individual, almost jumped out of his seat to rebuke Ed because he lied about the whole thing.
    Paul and Barnabas had a dispute. They parted company. They disagreed. So what? Both are saints today. I'll tell you one thing that Paul or Barnabas never did. They didn't tell boldfaced lies to their congregations and accuse good people of possessing evil spirits. So put that douche in your bag and squirt it, Buddy.

    Originally posted by John Cady View Post
    After the cards were collected, I said my goodbyes and walked out. I dropped off my ordination card with Ed at his office; he was completely surprised to see I wrote "NO". He had that lost puppy look on his face, not knowing what to say.
    I know that look well. Quite often it was accompanied with tears and snot.

    Originally posted by John Cady View Post
    On a far more serious note, Ed couldn't have timed the cleanisng at a worse moment. That same evening was when President George W. Bush announced we went to war in Iraq. There were 40 members of CFCMI deployed overseas - all stranded because Ed threw his temper tantrum and decided to split the church rather than have everyone sit down to an open forum and voice their grievances like civilized people. A lot of families were crying afterwards because Ed wounded a lot of people without cause.
    See comment above about Buddy never doing "anything carefully and precisely." The temper tantrums were learned from his mentor and father-in-law, convicted child raping felon LR Davis.

    Originally posted by John Cady View Post
    07 January 2004: Ed visited Waukegan to greet the church. Ed announced at that service how Norfolk survived a "demonic revolt" and now the church is peaceful again, and everyone is happy. Of a truth I can say that Ed Thomas lied through his teeth.
    As the saying goes, a bad, corrupt tree cannot produce good fruit. Regardless of the bodily orifice used, a liar can do nothing but utter lies. Buddy is as Buddy does.

    Originally posted by John Cady View Post
    And Ed, the master of image preservation, fooled the sheeple in Waukegan into thinking our decision to leave was of the devil, and that Pastor Duane Robinson's new congregation (now pastored by Tim Lark) would never amount to anything because God is not in it. Wrong answer, Ed.
    If the true test of God being in anything is that it "amounts to something," then CFCMI is a 20 minute drive from Hades.

    Originally posted by John Cady View Post
    That pretty much wraps up the whole story.
    I'd say so, with perhaps this final touch:

    Last edited by onetime; 04-21-2012, 12:32 AM. Reason: "Th-th-th-that's all Ozy!"

  • #2
    The Ozy thread still exists

    The Ed is Ozymandias thread is still there, but as was previously stated, no longer needs to be filled. There is ample information available for anyone who is willing to think and not be led about like sheep.
    Last edited by John Cady; 04-21-2012, 01:44 AM. Reason: An unlocked mind is an amazing thing


    • #3
      And some still call him pastor

      A long time ago, I remember seeing a few posters in various places that depicted policeman helping accident victims. One in particular showed a helmeted motorcycle cop standing there with the lifeless body of a small boy in his arms. The cop had tears running down his cheeks and was clearly distressed, as if he was holding his own child. The caption read "And some still call him pig."

      The intended message was obvious: the vast majority of policemen are good public servants. A dirty pig wouldn't care or be moved by the misfortunes of others. Calling people something they are not is wrong. Doing so can even be cause for weeping.

      Recent posts here reminded me of this. Buddy Jr has always assumed the title "pastor" and is still called so, even though he is now "retired,"

      What is a pastor?

      Well, a pastor must be blameless and above reproach, temperate, self-controlled [the Greek word, sophron, means sane and of a sound mind, curbing one's desires and impulses] respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. A pastor must manage his own family—including whatever he has equally yoked himself with—otherwise how can he properly run his church? This is all pretty well laid out in 1 Tim 3:2-5.

      Does Buddy exhibit self-control? Is he sane and of sound mind? Does he curb his desires and impulses (ever)? Does he respect others (or is he contemptuous)? Is he hospitable (does he ever invite the church to his home in Moyock)? Is money unimportant to Buddy (or does he covet it)? Does he (suppressing a grin here) keep his wife...under control (any)?

      If the answer to these questions is ixnay, (that's no, Pam), then the Budster is no pastor. Never was in fact. (Do I detect some sheep-in-the-flashlight looks on the floor of the gymnasium?)

      So I have a idea for a new poster to be displayed in the ghetto section of Norfolk. It would include pictures such as these at the top:

      Below would be a pictures of distressed people with tears with the caption at the bottom: "And some still call him pastor."

      Just as calling a good cop "pig" is wrong, calling a religious nincompoop "pastor" is wrong.

      Almost a crime.

      Last edited by onetime; 04-24-2012, 08:58 PM. Reason: EJT is NO DIFFERENT than his homo hero and mentor, LR Davis


      • #4
        Cone of Shame

        When Buddy got neutered 33 years ago, precautions had to be taken to ensure he healed properly. To this end, he was fitted with an Elizabethan Collar, or more fittingly for him, a Cone of Shame. Here's a look back at the little preacher right after surgery:

        Cheer up little fella. I know the pain of surgery is almost as great as the pain of suppressing the truth about the sexual crimes of your father-in-law. The good news is that the cone comes off in a week or two. You'll no longer have any balls, but you'll have plenty of nice toys and treats to look forward to.

        The bad news is that the shame never goes away.

        Last edited by onetime; 04-28-2012, 09:20 PM. Reason: Shame be damned, Whatever It Takes! to preserve your parasitic lifestyle, right Buddy?


        • #5
          We all know how active Ed is -- not one to just sit around feeling sorry for himself. And as rumor has it, I hear he may take a brief stint from his most recent stent this Sunday and again take the pulpit.

          Lets take a look at a short except from the messsage he's been preparing during this past period of convalescence.

          Last edited by thistime; 06-23-2012, 07:34 PM. Reason: Still sounds the same but somehow looks different. Did he shave his silly mustache?


          • #6
            Groucho Marx after a visit with Buddy

            "Gentlemen, he may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot." – Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho Marx), Duck Soup

            Last edited by onetime; 08-19-2012, 03:18 AM. Reason: [Rufus T. Firefly] "Ed, give me a number from one to ten" [Ed] "Eleven" [Rufus T. Firefly] "Right"


            • #7
              Dobbies and Almonds

              This is a screenshot taken from a slice of Buddy’s Facebook page:

              Click image for larger version

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              Douchebag lists these as his favorites when it comes to music. When I knew him long ago, I don’t remember him liking any music other that Christian Fellowship gospel tunes. (For that matter, I don’t remember him having any interest in things listed on his FB page like motorcycles, hand guns, football or other sports, either. The only thing he liked to do was to eat and watch TV.)

              Now why would this timid little chameleon "like" the Doobie Brothers and the Allman Brothers? It has to be more than just the music. The thought of Ed at a Doobies concert clapping his hands and pumping his fist during a chorus of "Listen to the Music" is about as out of place as my Aunt Esther listening to Slayer.

              No, Eddie has tried hard to cultivate a bad ass image and he took to Harley motorcycles (paid for by the congregation) among other things as proof of his manhood. Bikers—especially Harley riders—have liked bands
              such as these over the years. So he picks these two groups to show his biker street cred and slaps them up on his Facebook page because Buddy wants EVERYONE to know that he likes these bands of "Brothers."

              Usually when a person is familiar with something that they like, they rarely misspell it (unless that person is named Pamela). Now I can understand a person of limited abilities possibly swapping a "b" for an "o" when spelling Doobie to come up with "Dobbie," but it’s a little harder to screw up Allman. If one was not really familiar with the Allman Brothers, they might think of the phonetically similar word "Almond." That’s what may have happened here.

              Whatever, who cares. The only thing that matters is that he’s a phony klutz.

              Last edited by onetime; 09-25-2012, 08:25 PM. Reason: Go have an Almond Joy


              • #8
                Does Bob work for Buddy Thomas?

                From Bob, Great Lakes, IL: "Please say a prayer for me, my supervisor cusses me out and calls me names without warning. Thank you!" – CFCMI Prayer Wall, Oct. 19
                Bob has a supervisor who chews his ass and calls him names for no reason. Hmmm…sounds a bit familiar....

                A former member once wrote:

                To this day, I still don't know what it was…Ed burst into my side door. He was mad as a hornet. I stood up in shock and to see how I might be of some service to him…Ed stormed in and stood toe to toe with me and started screaming in my face. He was beet red and furious with anger. He berated me for asking Pastor Paine and Pam if they would like coffee and cake "before" asking him (Ed) if he would like something. Ed was nose to nose with me and screaming at the top of his lungs. His brow was furled and his spit was spraying. He slammed his fist over and over again on my desk. I was sure it would crack. I just could not, for the life of me, figure out what I did wrong. Ed and I were face to face. I was looking desperately in his eyes for some kind of reason for the sheer madness. He even picked up a 50 Cal shell—given to me by a brother—and whipped it on the floor. It ricocheted up and nearly hit me. It bounced off the ceiling and wall making dents along the way. I broke down in tears continuing to look Ed in the eye. It was all so surreal to me.

                Yep. Bob’s boss sounds a lot like Buddy was. And probably still is. Because the little narcissist biker wannabe never said he was sorry to anyone.

                Poor Bob. He’s part of a cult founded by a pedophile rapist that sucks the life and resources from its members. And then he has to go to work and deal with an Ed Thomas clone!

                Last edited by onetime; 10-27-2012, 07:29 AM. Reason: In related news, Buddy is not getting any younger, saner, or thinner


                • #9
                  Vacation destination for you know who


                  Since the little retired one has such an obsession with toilet plungers, he ought to love the Restroom Cultural Park in South Korea, billed as "The
                  World's First Toilet Theme Park."

                  He can even hang around for the Golden Poop Art Festival!

                  Last edited by onetime; 11-11-2012, 04:34 AM. Reason: Just when you think you’ve seen everything…


                  • #10
                    Bumping the Budster

                    :: Bumping this thread because 1) I can’t bump Ozymandias, 2) Buddy deserves ridicule and abuse for all the harm he’s done to others, and 3) I’m a mood to heap it on ::

                    Since he hasn’t uttered anything publicly in a while, we’ll go back before he retired. On July 3, 2011, Boy Wonder said:

                    I don’t have to be the pastor here. Pastor Paine doesn’t have to be the general pastor. I don’t have to be faithful to my wife. I could cheat on her and leave her. But I want to stay faithful. You don’t have to live a dedicated and faithful life. But do you want to?
                    I find this revealing. First, Buddy says he and Princess don’t have to be the pastors, but they wanted to. Of course they want to. Since the early days, being the top two CFCMI pastors was a meal ticket to a lot of easy money and a life of ease. They like to make it sound as if God called them up to the mountaintop and told them they would be pastors, but ever since they married LR’s daughters and their positions were assured as family members, it’s always been their choice. They wouldn’t have it any other way.

                    Second, I noticed a pattern over the years where Buddy uses examples of how he could cheat but he wants to be faithful to his missus. I think deep down inside, he has issues here. When a person believes they have no escape out of the situation they find themselves in, they can adopt a "sour grapes" attitude and say they’re content with what they have. When you repeatedly say you could do something but choose not to, I think you really would if you thought you could. But he doesn’t think he can so he talks about it. Unsolicited.

                    Third, he tells his captive audience they don’t have to live a dedicated and faithful life, but do they want to? Buddy and Princess, of course, define what a "dedicated and faithful life" is in the first place. As their father-in-law before them, they claim to speak with the authority of God. Being dedicated and faithful is the same as belonging to CFCMI and showing complete and unflinching obedience to them. No middle ground. Whether members want to live this way or not is irrelevant. You either do or you are labeled a child of the devil and cast out. Any questions?

                    Even though he’s seemingly out of the picture now, we never want people to forget what a deceitful slimeball this guy was.

                    Last edited by onetime; 03-23-2013, 09:14 PM. Reason: And still is


                    • #11
                      The Coward in the Rye

                      J. D. Salinger wrote the classic novel, The Catcher in the Rye, about a boy who wanted to protect kids playing in a field of rye by "catching" them before they fell off a cliff. If he had ever heard of CFCMI, he might have written another book later, The Coward in the Rye. This would have been a biographical account about a timid douchebag who wouldn’t protect young sailors from an abusive homosexual rapist father-in-law because doing so would’ve required the courage to stand up to his piggish bitch of a wife and face the unpleasant prospect of actually having to work for a living, so he looked the other way, and with tears a flow, he did nothing to "catch" innocent victims from falling into harm and destruction. After years of living with his head buried in a certain anatomical location and eating like an Arkansas hog, his health faileth him and he crawleth away and was forgotten.

                      Last edited by onetime; 04-29-2013, 08:13 PM. Reason: Alternate title: "The Chicken in the Rye." Cluck, cluck, bwok!


                      • #12
                        Instead of a Walmart greeter…

                        Moyock’s Manneken Pis gets a part-time retirement job filling bottles. When asked about his new job, The Least Interesting Lawn Statue in the World said:

                        "I don't always fill bottles, but when I do, I pis a stream a monkey could climb."


                        Last edited by onetime; 06-29-2013, 10:00 PM. Reason: He also freelances plugging holes in stab victims when he's not suffering from PTSD