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Dating A Skinhead

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  • Dating A Skinhead

    <font color="0000ff"><font face="verdana&#44;arial&#44;helvetica"></font>
    Who can relate? I am 22 years old and I am dating a skin head. I know that a lot of people misunderstand skinheads. I know this because I was one of them. I am not a skinhead &#40;or byrd for females&#41; but I understand his point of view.

    He does not consider himself a racist, just a racialist. He believes in building and strengthening his race, not mixing other races together. This is hard for me to accept at times because I do have cousins that are half black/half white. My best friend&#39;s little boy is also part black. So it is a conflicting belief with me, but I understand where he is coming from. He is proud of his heritage and his blood line and he wants to continue it the way it is.

    The hardest thing? I am dating a skinhead in prison. You probably think I&#39;m crazy, but that&#39;s ok. I don&#39;t expect most people to understand. I have had to take a break from my family even because of the things they have said. I have maybe 1 or 2 friends that support me. The only thing that matters is that he makes me happy. I am SO in love. We still have a while to wait until he gets out &#40;for the stupidest crime ever&#41; but we are trying to get clemency. God willing, he will be granted it and get a few years off his sentence. Right now he is due to be released 2010. We are hoping for 2008. It&#39;s still hard to wait that long, but better than 4 years.

    We are just anxious for his release date so we can move out of this state and start both of our lives over, together. We both just want to get married and start having children. He is not a bad person. He&#39;s amazing. I have never met someone so loving, protective, loyal and so intelligent. He&#39;s all around a great guy. Yes, he made mistakes, when he was 17! But he has learned his lesson and just wants to be happy now.

    It&#39;s painful to see him every weekend in that place. Knowing that he doesn&#39;t have the freedom that I do. Knowing he wants nothing more than to come home with me when I leave. He&#39;s a sweetheart and may I add extremely gorgeous!

    But I just wanted to share an important part of my life with you. And if there is anyone out there going through something similar, don&#39;t be afraid to comment. We can&#39;t help who we fall in love with, and even in this situation, I wouldn&#39;t change who I fell in love with. He&#39;s my life, my future, my heart. I love him! And its just 3 more days til I get to see him again!!!</font>

  • #2
    It&#39;s one thing to have pri

    It&#39;s one thing to have pride in ones heritage and quite another to promote blatant racism.

    You say he is in Prison as opposed to jail, which tells me he is a felon.

    Being a felon is not something that anybody should be proud of. I am certainly not impressed. He has such pride for the color of his skin that it doesnít matter what his actions or contribution to society is right? A felons opinion donít matter, they donít even get to vote. Good luck to him getting a good job when heís out because while we have laws that prevent discrimination based on race we have no laws on discriminating based on ones legal record. You say he believes in building and strengthening his race yet he has done his race a great injustice by taking himself out of the equation when it comes to his country. Now we the people get to feed and clothe him through OUR tax dollars. He has a warm place to sleep, which is more than our homeless population has. Again he wonít get to vote for his political leaders, he most likely wonít get a good job. He is certainly not a role model.

    But he could beÖ

    I do believe there is hope for anybody who wants to give up their evil ways and thinking and accept Christ as their personal savior, but until they do that, they are bound to keep getting in trouble.

    If he turns from his evil thinking and becomes a productive asset to society &#40;all people&#41; then one could be proud of him. Proud that he changed his life around when he saw the errors of his way.

    Our Heavenly Father created all the races and blessed them and said they are GOOD!

    By believing any race is superior to another is asking for evil and pain and hardship to come into your life. By following the words of Christ when he says LOVE THY NEIGHBOR, you are inviting the Lords blessings.

    Pride should be based on ones deeds/actions/contributions/ not skin color.


    • #3
      You are making a mistake that

      You are making a mistake that will cost the years of your youth. Nothing is worth that price, especially not the guy you describe. It sounds like your parents are trying their best to protect you from yourself.

      You probably feel that they are attacking the guy you love, and they just don&#39;t understand him, but one day you will be sorry you didn&#39;t listen to them.

      I&#39;m sure you think you two will run away, beat the odds and end up happy ever after. It&#39;s more likely you will end up a Jerry Springer episode.

      Just being born white is nothing to be proud of. It took nothing on his part to do that.


      • #4
        [b]<font color="aa00aa"><font

        <font color="aa00aa"><font face="verdana&#44;arial&#44;helvetica"></font></font>}

        DANISPEACHY: In regards to your response...

        I had directly stated in my original entry that he is not a racist, but a racialist. He has friends that are of other races. He does not critisize them or treat them badly. He personally &#40;along with others&#41; do not agree with breeding with other races.

        Yes he is in prison. I never once said that he was proud of it. He is miserable there and has by far and no doubt learned his lesson. I never asked for you to be impressed with anything. I am not trying to impress you or anyone else. And the reason he is in prison has nothing to with his pride for his skin color. And it has nothing to do with being a skinhead. It was not a hate crime. Just a mistake as a 17 year old kid.

        You speak pretty poorly of felons. Just because he is in prison doesn&#39;t mean his opinion does not matter. It matters to me and lots of people. He is still a human being that deserves to be treated that way. He is not a monster. He didn&#39;t rape anyone, he didn&#39;t kill anyone. Don&#39;t always assume the worst until you know the story itself. Just like you do with skinheads, are you even familiar with their beliefs? I am not saying I fully agree and of course I&#39;d rather he not be one, but I have no choice in that matter.

        Him getting a job is none of your business, but he does have one ready and waiting for him. His dad owns his own company. So him and I can live practically anywhere and he will have a job. He has not done his race any injustice. Would you say the same for blacks, mexicans, chinese? What about those that are in prison? Would you say they are doing their race an injustice? Are you telling me you have never done anything illegal? Never taken anything, never went over the speed limit? We are all guilty of doing things wrong not only in society&#39;s eyes but in God&#39;s as well.

        I don&#39;t think he cares about voting. I can and I&#39;m registered, but I still don&#39;t, nor care about it. He will get a job and he is a role model for those in his same situation. He is a role model in the fact that he has turned things around. He is very highly respected in the prison by everyone because of the fact that he is so intelligent and even tries to keep the others in order. As for a free warm bed? I know he would give that up in a heartbeat for his freedom. And its not as grand as you think. If you heard the stories of what goes on in there, you would be disturbed. Things aren&#39;t free. They have jobs. They have to purchase a TV if they want one, buy their food, everything. It isn&#39;t just given to them.


        • #5
          I don&#39;t need you to preach

          I don&#39;t need you to preach at me either. I have been saved and in church since I was 6 years old. But you sound like you only believe that someone has a chance and is a good person if they become a Christian. I know tons of people that don&#39;t even believe in God and are amazing people. I would trust them before anyone in the church. Its full of hypocrites. Just because they aren&#39;t saved, doesn&#39;t mean they are going to get in trouble. I know people that seem like Saints, but aren&#39;t Christian. You are very judgemental and seem like the hypocrites I know of. You preach about loving thy neighbor, but then you speak poorly of my boyfriend, who you do not know.

          You assume that he has &#34;evil thinking.&#34; You have no clue what he does everyday, what he thinks, or how he feels. You assume, and you know what they say about assuming. He has changed his life around. He doesn&#39;t have to be out of prison to do that. He serving a ridiculous sentence for a small, common crime. Not a big deal at all.

          You preach at me about all races being GOOD by God as if I am the one that has his beliefs. I never said I feel that way. My father figure was black. I simply stated that I understood his feelings and he is not a racist. He would tell you that himself if he could.

          I never asked anyone to be proud of him for his color. I am proud of him for his attitude, his survival, his dreams/goals. He is not proud of himself for his color either. He is proud of his heritage, but not proud of himself for it. That&#39;s stupid. You assume a lot of crap. If you only knew the truth...


          • #6
            joshsgrl - did you meet him be

            joshsgrl - did you meet him before he went to prison, or while he was in prison?
            you say he makes you happy - how does he make you happy?
            Its very easy for a man to make grand professions that he is loving, protective, loyal and intelligent when locked up

            What do you know about his past, other girlfriends he has had, how he treated them, and how he leads his life?

            Has your family met him? What do they know about him? What are thier reasons for being worried about your being with him? Maybe your parents and family love you and are afraid something will happen to you.

            What information do you have about him other than what he himself has told you?


            • #7
              Is there nothing but Christian

              Is there nothing but Christians on this thing? You find it ok to judge? Its not a waste of my time loving someone worthy of love. Just because he has made mistakes doesn&#39;t mean he doesn&#39;t deserve it. I myself have done things just as bad as him, but it doesn&#39;t mean I am a bad person. My mother doesn&#39;t even know him and she&#39;s nervous/scared. I understand that. I am nervous about our future too. I never said we were gonna run away and live happily ever after. I know there will be trials, but we sure as hell are not Jerry Springer material. Grow up.

              Its not being &#34;white&#34; he&#39;s proud of. Its his heritage. Aren&#39;t you proud of yours? I am proud to be Irish. I&#39;m proud to be Scottish. I am proud to be who I am, that doesn&#39;t make me a racist. Maybe you should do your research first. I&#39;m not throwing away years of my youth. I don&#39;t have to be in a relationship to be successful or happy. I am still working, going to the gym, going to go to school this year...all of that. I am still living my life and getting a career. I happen to be in love at the same time. It almost works better this way right now because now I have plenty of time for me. But I will always be by his side....always!


              • #8
                Good points, dream_truth!


                Good points, dream_truth!

                Let this man prove himself as a man OUTSIDE of prison before you commit your life to him. He was just a kid when he went in so there is nothing to base your judgement on until you&#39;ve seen him live as a responsible adult in society. If he is all you believe him to be, it will be worth the wait. If he&#39;s not, you&#39;ll have saved yourself a whole lot of grief!


                • #9
                  hey joshsgrl, i&#39;m not a ch

                  hey joshsgrl, i&#39;m not a christian. i&#39;m also a girl, and i&#39;m asking you these questions because i made some quick relationship decisions in the past, and would have been better off if i asked myself those questions first.

                  i mean you no offense, i just think it would be smart to take a look at yourself, your reasons, your family....

                  having someone tell me they love me caused me to forget about everything else, like what does love really mean. If this guy really does love you, he wont mind proving it before he gets to be with you. being in jail isnt proof, he&#39;d be there with or without you. of course he can be faithful right now, there is no one else around.

                  I think your parents might just not want you to get hurt.


                  • #10
                    Dream: Hello 20 Questions!

                    Dream: Hello 20 Questions!

                    I have known him for a while...before prison that is. We were just friends and happened to fall in love over the years. How does he make me happy? He loves me. And even though he is in there, he still takes care of me out here. He isn&#39;t one that sits there and professes his undieing love for me. We talk about real things, real life, real issues. We don&#39;t sit there for hours saying, I love you. We know each other very well, inside and out, good and bad.

                    Past girlfriends? Not many. As a kid he didn&#39;t do the dating thing, just the mess around thing. He wasn&#39;t into have a girlfriend that much. He is an adult now that has grown and learned. I am the first woman he has ever loved. I know that because I know his past.

                    He doesn&#39;t live a bad life. He took the blame for a friend over a stolen car for godsakes! He&#39;s a loyal friend, made a mistake and took the blame. Now he is paying for it. You don&#39;t have to believe me, but I was there, I know.

                    No my family has not met him. They know everything I know about him. Being worried? My mom stated about getting job, then I reassured her he has one waiting from his dad&#39;s company. She isn&#39;t worried about that anymore. She just doesn&#39;t like me having to wait. She thinks I should be dating, she wants grandbabies fast! But like I told her, if I wasn&#39;t with him, I wouldn&#39;t be with anyone. I never had plans on dating right now. This was me time. But it happened and I have no plans on changing my decision.

                    What information do I have about him other than what he has told me? Lots. I can look up his criminal record online. And I have, he has told me the truth about anything.

                    There isn&#39;t really anything any of you can say to change my mind. I was just expressing something. I didn&#39;t realize this world was so eager to jump on someone for being in love and also judge another human being for error. Aren&#39;t we responsible for doing something wrong? No one is perfect. I just seem to be more accepting than everyone else because I gave a good friend, felon or not, a chance to fall in love.

                    Its not like I couldn&#39;t find some great guy out here with a career and all that. But that&#39;s not important to me. Love is.


                    • #11
                      He has proved himself as a man

                      He has proved himself as a man, like I said, I knew him before. And it was my decision to be with him. He doesn&#39;t want me to wait because he doesn&#39;t think its fair. He believes if we are meant to be, than it will happen when he gets out. But it was my decision to be with him because I would be single otherwise.

                      Trust me, he can be unfaithful if he really wants to. There are female CO&#39;s around that find him very attractive, but he hates cops.

                      I don&#39;t love him just because he said i love you. We have a past together. I have always loved him.

                      I am starting to regret ever posting this or signing up on this thing. This is my first post and I just signed up yesterday. I guess this is how you get attacked by the internet.


                      • #12
                        [i]Just being born white is no

                        Just being born white is nothing to be proud of. It took nothing on his part to do that.

                        This one fact alone should be enough to illustrate the ignorance and stupidity of racism, racialism, or whatever label you want to put on placing any significance at all on a person&#39;s skin color.


                        • #13
                          I give up. I no longer care wh

                          I give up. I no longer care what anyone says. At least I have 2 of my best friend&#39;s behind me and happy that I am happy. That&#39;s all that matters. I have come to the conclusion that this world is WAY too judgemental.


                          • #14
                            It wasnít all bad. At least yo

                            It wasnít all bad. At least you learned something. If you post on an internet board, then you should expect all sorts of responses. Since youíre having trouble with people disagreeing with you, Iíd recommend that you re-post your first post on a skinhead website.


                            • #15
                              Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck,
                              Curly was

                              Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck,
                              Curly was a misunderstood skinhead too.

                              I&#39;m a victim of soycumstance...