The Messages

[olive]

(Message edited by olive on May 14, 2006)

[laetamini]

Hey Olive,
I don't want to comment about the subject. The only thing I will comment on is I would, if you can at all, just let that go. Truthfully. For some reason this was one thing that I really didn't have a problem not reading in to or giving it too much power. And I know other people still there that felt the same way. They were what they were. I didn't get them then, don't get them now. But please, please just let it go like a helium balloon out of your hands. Not worth letting that subject control your life now.

[searchlight]

Hi Laetimini,
Time for true confessions.... an embarrassingly ridiculous revelation....a real time example of how fearful I am......how much "control" I am still under....drum roll please....OLIVE is just me, searchlight. I am so tortured and curious about this topic, but I was afraid to use my first alias, so I started another one.....ugh...I feel so stupid now...but I realized that it was false of me to pretend to be someone else when this whole discussion board felt so wonderfully free and honest....sorry everyone...

[laetamini]

Thanks for a great laugh!!!

[exmonk]

Yes I will comment. I know the individual is who receives the messages. I know someone who used to transcribe the messages and have some involvement. there are more people now who receive messages. I am told that a very large percentage of the predictions, situations that were specific in time and place, never occurred. I think that the individual has an over active imagination. I will not say that they are totally bogus. I recieved pictures or dreams if you will about future events that actually came to pass. It is like a de ja vu. A lot of folks experience these things. I have done extensive research in it. My comment is to not let them scare you, do not let them have too much weight in your thinking. There may be some thing to some of them, or it can also be a trick like a phsycic uses to figure you out and leads you to believe they have an inside track. Your faith is far more powerful than any message or psychic rendering. It is a non validated occurance. Some longstanding and important poeple at the CofJ do not read or beleive them. They shared this with me when I questioned them about it.

[searchlight]

Thanks exmonk,
That helps a lot. I think I am just exremely sucseptible and vulnerable in this area....maybe in part because of my fire and brimstone upbringing.....
It just seemed like so much weight was given to them...so much importance......then a whole movement of "journaling" started and we were all getting stuff, hearing God, whatever you want to call it....this was so encouraged...actually more than that....it was required...journaling time etc....I did intensively for a couple years....it was a real trip....I don't mean any disrespect towards God or this process, but there was a certain "high" I got off the whole thing.
Anyway, then stuff at the CJ started colliding with this experience....like I said before....on the one hand people were required to hear God for themselves, but then at the same time, they were telling you to "pray again" when answers didn't line up with their idea of what you should do. I have heard many stories like this. I began to question aggresively and was met with an inpenetrable brick wall...I had gone too far I suppose. Anyway, the long and the short of it is that I could not reconcile the "messages" and my own "journaling" or relationship with God with the control, lies and fear I was experiencing....all in the same place. I lost my faith, largely because of this confusion...because of the "messages" and my own search to hear god. I lost my faith in the Community of Jesus. I didn't let it go easily. I am tenacious. I fought hard for it. I didn't want to see it go. But it is gone. I miss my faith badly. It seems and interesting day, Mother's Day, to realize again, that my faith was like my mother and my father, since they were not a presence in my childhood. My faith was always with me...a little ball of warmth inside me. I once said to a friend that no matter what happened in my life, I had never questioned that companion. My friend found that unbelievable...I found it unbelievable that they found it unbelievable! Well, now I have found many, many things in my life....a level of peace, joy, hope....but I long to feel that presence again....

[laetamini]

Hey, searchlight, totally understand the feeling suceptible & vulnerability. Even tho' I'm shooting my 'mouth' off all over the place here, I suspect it's a tension release. I'm feeling pretty scared & vulnerable about everything I've written....realize I even contradict myself. Probably bcs I still feel pretty divided inwardly about a lot. I wasn't trying to be flip about letting this topic go. This is one area where I couldn't figure it out at all, and realized I never would so gave up trying. It's just one of the people recieving a lot of these was a close friend, and I still really like them. I couldn't ever reconcile the person & the topic so I guess I just gave up on trying to and liked the person.

I am totally with you about the journaling & needing to re-pray answers that you struggled to find in the first place!?! It's funny, now when I'd really like to be journaling I'm totally dry, have nothing to say.

About your faith, I think we go in stages. Who knows what the future holds, but it's great to find a level of peace, joy and hope for now.

[free2ndgen]

hey searchlight, i did the same thing when i first got on factnet - I'm dream_truth, lol!

[beyondfear]

Hey searchlight,

I missed the first post about the messages. Can you explain them again? I didn't really get what they were or what the purpose was. I just know that someone told me (years after I'd left) that one of the messages had been about me. I don't remember the substance of the message, just that I was a really bad person. I know one of the people who was the "transcriber" I guess you'd call it, but I never understood what that person was doing, especially because most of the time when this person wasn't locked away in the "transcribing" room, that person seemed pretty upbeat and unaffected by the whole thing. Of course, I never spoke to the person about it, but it all seemed rather weird and scary. (Sorry for the awkward phrasing here - just don't want to give away my identity by revealing who or what I know.)

[searchlight]

hi beyondfear,
Basically, someone in the CJ (we weren't told who) received "messages" that they wrote down that were from god, mary etc. This is really scary territory for me since we were told never to talk about it....

[beyondfear]

I'm glad you're talking about it. It's important to reveal it so that it loses its power. To me, the more something is supposed to be secret, the more scary and illegitimate it is, and the more it needs to be shown for its falseness. Thanks for even responding to my post - I know it must be scary given everything you've talked about so far.

[bacchus]

If I knew then what I know now as far as what the obvious causes of the problems I was having...I would think that if it were really from Mary or Jesus, they would say something relevent about thoses issues...instead most of them seemed to be worded in such a confusing way hat i had read it over and over about 10 times, and even then really didn't quite grasp what they were saying. Also most of seemed to be centered around my rebellion being my downfall.