Need suggestions on how to proceed

[enialle (enialle)]

I have a close friend whose daughter (we'll call her "Judy") was falsely accused of actions unbecoming of a daughter. This daughter has
been stripped of her title and is now in the process of appealing thedecision. Here are the details that leads up to this action:

1) The particular Bethel goes to Grand Bethel
2) The Bethel Guardian has a daughter ("Bertha" )in the same bethel which by the view of most daughters is given favored treatment and
says inappropriate, hurtful comments to the girls. Her mother when told of this usually gives her daughter a pass. Bertha is not liked by
most of the girls because of her elevated status with her mother and her arrogant behavior.
3) The bethel Guardian without going into details for some reason does not like Judy and has done numerous things to her in particular that
makes it clear her dislike of Judy to everyone in the bethel. The bethel Guardian's daughter does not like Judy (she doesnt like many
but in particular she REALLY doesnt like Judy and has said so to me and my own daughter who is in this same bethel.) 4) Judy in question was in room with two other girls at Grand Bethel- Martha and Abby.
5) One of the girls in a room, Abby is known as a gossip and has repeatedly spread malicious gossip but adults are unaware of this. She has started a rumor at the school my daughter attends that my daughter is a lesbian. I am about to quash any rumors this girl does by writing a letter to the BG to make sure she stops--but that's another
matter...
6) The other girl, Martha, who was in the room with Judy at Grand Bethel was recently initiated into the bethel and still new to the JD
process. 7)Martha rode home with the Bethel Guardian and her daughter from the
Grand Bethel. This is a six hour ride.
7) about two months later at a regularly held meeting a mother Judy witnessed a letter handed to the Bethel Guardian by Martha. In that letter it is believe Martha makes outrageous claims of sexual misconduct at the Grand Bethel. It was letter told to the mother than the letter was given to the Associate grand Guardian and not the
BG. This was not true. The Associate grand Guardian is not independent from the manipulations of the BG. She just rubber stamps whatever the Bethel Guardian wishes. I myself have called to complain abut the rudeness of the Bethel Guardian to associate grand guardian and my issues were dismissed. She seem to excuse all of her rude
behavior. She did not value what i had to say and didn't seem interested in it.

8) There was an executive meeting to discuss the letter. This info was gained from other sources. I also found out the first letter was rewritten because there were no names in it. That was requested by the Bethel Guardian. The letter appears to be written by another, however
that can't be establish as the author and her parents are avoiding the mother and daughter. They also below to rainbow girls. My guess is the
BG told them to not discuss this with the accused or her mother. An advantageous situation for the BG if she wants the charge to stick.
9) Two months later after a regular meeting the mother was taken into the room to read the revised letter. AT the time two Grand Guardian
members were there. One being a man who made a point he worked for the probation department and could file criminal charges. The first thing
out of his mouth was "Judy tell me about the orgies" obviously this was intended for shock value. (as an aside: don't you think if there
orgies with other girls all of the mothers would/should have been notified? This is months after the fact. If this was true it would
call into question the inability of the Bethel guardian and the escorts to properly chaperone the girls.) Obviously this is a made up story but the man felt compelled to utter the most outrageous of
the charges to Judy and her mother for shock value. This was going on while Judy's mother was attempting the read the letter. They constantly talked to her at the same time. Judy's mother were told that under any circumstance she was not to tell anyone about it. Judy asked for a copy and said she was entitled to get a copy. she was
refused at copy. She was 18 at the time. only her mother read the story. (odd that, since later it was required that Judy attend the hearing)

10) Upon hearing the outrageous claims Judy become loud and angry and yelled at all of those interrogating her. I honestly believe the way
they sprung this on Judy was to elicit such a reaction to advantageously use it against her as an other charge of improper conduct. judy later sent a letter of apology for her outburst. Many of
the girls were there and didn't understand what was going on. Of course at this point she told a few what happened. She was in a state of shock as was her mother and wasn't even sure if they were told to keep it secret. That again was used against her.

There was another mother who read the entire letter at the time as it that mentioned her daughter--Abbey-- the gossip and story teller-- as
kissing another girl. Apparently nothing ever happened to them in terms of discipline. She then knew the entire contents of the letter with most being accusatory towards Judy.

This secrecy that Judy and her mother were sworn to were not made to the other mother, or to the council members. Abbey the gossipy daughter has been talking about it to a mason who helps out the bethel and others. We also know that adult members of the daughters seem to have information and council members --not on the executive board know
what is going on. It has become clear to me and to the mother that the secrecy requirement was only to prevent her ability to conduct her
own investigation.

11)The bethel Guardian wrote a letter which basically tells her she is charged with the activities unbecoming of a bethel daughter and that there is an executive meeting in which she is to meet with them. She is further admonished not to tell anyone and she is violated it before
and she is not to again under any circumstance. The mother called the Associate grand guardian to see if she can go instead of her daughter
for fearing her daughter will be hysterical as was before. At that time they said the mother could come. I came to an executive board
meeting to make sure a letter I wrote is read on another matter. I was discussing the pressing issue that I felt the girls were not happy
about the Bethel Guardian. this executive member kept bringing up the matter with Judy as being why nothing has been done. AT that point I
decided to say what I felt about it. I told him that it was improper and unprofessional how it was handled and that this was not an investigation but an agenda. He told me there was another who
corroborated the story. From what i understand the only other person would have to be Abbey, the gossip. I also know that Abbey told by
other girls was telling stories that Judy was masturbating and other complete and utter lies. He apparently was not restricted from discussing the matter it seemed to me.

12) at the meeting the mother went but Judy did not. They said they would not conduct the meeting unless Judy was there and would reschedule it. Judy's mother asked about the bylaws, her rights, a copy of the letter, the jurisprudence and who they investigated and if did not why and a host of other question to see of this was done properly and so that she can see what bylaws guides the BG and EC on such matters. They told her they would not listen to this and to send an email. Yet, a week later a letter was sent to the mother saying
Judy was stripped of her titled and expelled from Job's daughters. There was never a rescheduled meeting.

Here are the other facts and issues:

The mother was told she was not permitted to look up the by laws or jurisprudence to see if the meeting was and process of investigation
was properly conducted, she was not allowed due process in that she couldn't face the accuser, she was refused a copy of the letter, was
refused to know who else was interviewed, was refused to know the exact name of the collaborator (one can sumise who it was) and was
told not to discuss this with anyone. When the bethel guardian realized Judy's mother contacted one of the Grand guardian she was upset and said she was going to contact her herself (my guess was
damage control).

I know not one girl or mother who was at the Grand Bethel was asked about these incidents. I also feel if in fact such sexual activities
were done during grand bethel the mothers should have been immediately contacted so that we could file charges and protect our daughters. Yet
the BG held onto this information and even requested a rewrite of the letter and the one possible person who "collaborated" is a known
gossip and already read the charges on the letter!

I also know the girl who supposedly authored the letter is not very literate however the letter was well written. I also know the BG's
daughter is very smart and well written and was in the car on the 6 hour ride home from Grand Bethel. I is incredulous to me that Bertha
and the bethel Guardian (her mother) did not in fact discuss this.

I also like to know why the Grand Bethel Council decide to not review the matter and left it for the BG to handle it? And why? Wouldn't
someone without the obvious bias would be better to properly handle this matter? And the BG bylaws states that if there is any issues that
require discipline as in courts you must try and find other methods to handle the matter without resorting to something that harsh. It should
be the last resort not the first.

I also know that the mother of the gossipy girl --the collaborator --is rumored to be the New BG when this one leaves this year. Her daughter majority out in Dec and frankly it is well know the girls do not like her daughter. It is hard to blame them as the daughter is mean to all of them. I know i heard her talk when she was tutoring my
daughter.

I know the letter never mentions first hand accounts of witnessed behavior and it seems as if it is written as if someone else is telling her the gossip. The letter is not written in first person. The BG does not specifically mention which of the charges was going to be used against her, it seems it is the one where supposedly the girl was masturbating in the room. Now seriously folks, do you honestly believe a girl would do that with two others around? And pray who would have
actually witness this?

The mother is in a process of appealing. I know there are lots of ways to go about this. if anyone can give advice and information, please
do so! Her mother and her daughter is devastated this happened. She can no longer be called PHQ and if she ever has a daughter she will
not be able join. This is horrible.

I know bethel bylaws cannot overcome the 14 amendment, and frankly this was just an excuse to remove her.

I am going to send in a complaint letter myself about the BG for my own reasons as she is rude and a control freak and she has single-handedly reduced the bethel size for 21 to 8 girls. No one
thinks it is fun anymore with her around. AT the Grand bethel she yelled at the girls. she does all the time. She even swore at them at several meetings when they didn't do their ritual work. The BG is horrible. but back to this issue. What can the mother/daughter do?



Several questions, if in fact there were orgies, and all kinds of
improper conduct, why wouldn't the mothers be immediately notified and
the a police report filed? That's a rhetorical question, of course
because nothing like the claims in the letter happened.

[jediknight]

I know the vicious comments I myself know of a similar issues, I will let you know of a Brother I met what he decided to do was ..

Move to another State. Really you will find its hard to do, I moved several times. I now have a home and now happy, I switched churches, and still they are still trying to do stuff.

I was waiting for them to pull that on the next victim, I found best thing is to walk away.

Use some constructive planning, I am changing my whole thing I am a very busy person myself, I dont keep contact with this other person, and if the opportunity arises to move again sure I'll move.

as the Training in AA said " Sometimes its Best to detach yourself from..."

also a training tape You CAN LIVE WITHOUT ....

I have also evolved as a Independent Rouge I hold no membership or affiliation, I burned my membership card ( never had one to begin with but makes logical sense ) Turned my back on my enemies and wish them a long journey and a happy life.